Men Who Care . . .

When a Father is not in the Home, you jeopardize the whole Family.

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The worst marriage is often better than the best divorce and every effort to preserve the marriage must be taken, especially for the children's sake. However, if you anticipate your wife is going to file against you, you should take the protective measures below. "You can always give something back, at least you will have the ability to do so".


______1. Cancel all credit cards
______2. Clean out all bank and investment accounts.

Collect all:

  • bank statements
  • utility bills
  • canceled checks
  • insurance policies
  • and anything in the house that has a significant value
and deliver them to your attorney for safekeeping.


Pack a bag and keep it elsewhere. This might even include some food,toiletries, and locate a potential dwelling .

______5. Contact an attorney experienced in custody cases who has a reputation as a fighter.
______6. Become or remain deeply involved in your children's school activities. Meet with teachers, attend PTA meetings, ball games, etc.
______7. Provide all the child care functions for your child, keep a record of dates and witnesses of overall child care: Homework, Diapers, Meals, Buying Clothes, Washing Clothes
______8. Make home movies/take pictures of you and the child together.
______9. Make a Witness List of people who have observed you doing all the above
_____10. At the last minute before anything is filed, clean out ALL valuables, guns, jewelry, personal effects/items, photos that mean a lot to you, etc. from the house and put in storage. Don't do anything she can hold over your head. Assume that whatever you leave in the house will never be seen again. Do this even if you now have control of the house. DO NOT MOVE OUT OF THE CHILDREN'S RESIDENCE EVEN TEMPORARILY UNLESS ORDERED BY A COURT! DO NOT LEAVE CHILDREN WITHOUT FOOD, UTILITIES ETC. YOU CAN DIRECTLY PURCHASE THINGS THEY NEED
_____11. Do not acquire or expose any new girlfriend or allow her to intermingle in your childs life or social setting, until the divorce is final!!!  This will make things go much smoother. Spend time with your kids instead of dating. Live alone in a

place with a bedroom for the kids, full of toys/computers etc if the court orders you out of the marital residence.


_____13. Keep an EXHIBIT LOG, numbering each potential exhibit as you go. Keeping hundreds or thousands of potential exhibits organized can be a nightmare. Use email and written confirmation of important conversations. Create a paper trail.
_____14. Make NO threats of violence, EVER! Do nothing even remotely threatening or violent.  It will totally destroy your case.Bite your tongue, no name calling. Always be quiet, polite and courteous. YOU must be the guy in the white hat.
_____15. Review this list with a local attorney before use.